Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (DDP) Treatment Plan

For “Defender” Children in Domestic Violence Situations

Introduction

This treatment plan is specifically designed for children who have adopted a “defender” role in domestic violence situations. These children often attempt to protect the victimized parent (typically the mother) or siblings, intervene during violent episodes, or take on inappropriate caregiving responsibilities. This parentification and protective stance creates unique psychological challenges requiring specialized therapeutic attention. Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (DDP) emphasising attachment, intersubjectivity, and the PACE attitude (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy), provides a practical framework for addressing the complex relational trauma experienced by defender children. Please see Appendix E for a copy of this treatment plan.

Understanding the Defender Child

Typical Characteristics

• Hypervigilance to threat and danger cues
• Premature development of caregiving behaviours
• Heightened sense of responsibility for family safety
• Suppression of personal needs in service of others
• Difficulty with age-appropriate dependency
• Advanced emotional awareness but poor emotional regulation
• Strong protective impulses toward the victimized parent and siblings
• Possible identification with either victim or perpetrator
• Challenges with appropriate boundaries and role confusion
• Difficulty engaging in child-appropriate activities and experiences

Common Psychological Impact

• Chronic anxiety and hyperarousal
• Guilt when unable to prevent or stop violence
• Identity development centered around protection/caregiving
• Delayed development in areas not related to survival/protection
• Difficulties with peer relationships due to mature/parentified presentation
• Challenges with trust and dependency in relationships
• Potential somatic complaints due to chronic stress
• Excessive self-reliance and resistance to help
• Complicated grief related to loss of childhood experiences

Assessment Phase (3-4 sessions)

Comprehensive Evaluation

• Assessment of defender role development and entrenchment
• Evaluation of specific protective behaviours exhibited
• Assessment of age-inappropriate responsibilities assumed
• Evaluation of mother-child role reversals and boundaries
• Identification of beliefs about protection, responsibility, and safety
• Assessment of developmental impacts in non-defender domains
• Evaluation of mother’s understanding of child’s defender role

Relational Assessment

• Observation of mother-child interactional patterns
• Assessment of the mother’s reliance on the child for emotional support
• Evaluation of child’s caretaking behaviours toward mother
• Assessment of child’s ability to express vulnerable emotions
• Identification of triggers for protective/defensive responses
• Evaluation of child’s capacity for age-appropriate play and dependence

Individual Factors Assessment

• Assessment of trauma symptoms specific to the defender’s role
• Evaluation of cognitive beliefs about responsibility and protection
• Assessment of somatic manifestations of chronic stress
• Evaluation of academic and social functioning
• Identification of strengths and resilience factors
• Assessment of capacity for self-care and self-compassion

Stabilization Phase (4-6 sessions)

Safety Restructuring

• Clear delineation of adult versus child responsibilities
• Establishing appropriate protective boundaries
• Empowering the mother to assume a full protective role
• Developing alternative safety plans not dependent on the child
• Creating predictable routines that reduce hypervigilance
• Establishing trauma-informed crisis protocols

Role Clarification and Adjustment

• Age-appropriate psychoeducation about family roles
• Explicit permission to be a child rather than a protector
• Gradual reduction in inappropriate caregiving responsibilities
• Structured opportunities for age-appropriate dependency
• Support for mother in reclaiming the protective parental role
• Addressing anxiety that emerges as the defender role diminishes

Psychoeducation for Mother and Child

• Education about the impact of parentification and defender roles
• Information about developmental needs that may have been neglected
• Introduction to healthy attachment and dependency
• Education about trauma responses and regulation
• Introduction to DDP principles and PACE attitude
• Explanation of the therapeutic process ahead

Dyadic Intervention Phase (12-16 sessions)

Rebuilding Appropriate Attachment Patterns

• Guided interactions that establish appropriate parent-child roles
• Activities that allow the child to experience being cared for
• Affective-reflective dialogue about role confusion and reversal
• Supporting the mother in providing emotional security and protection
• Addressing the child’s resistance to vulnerability and dependency
• Practicing co-regulation led by the parent rather than the child

Processing Defender Experiences

• Creating a coherent narrative about the development of the defender role
• Exploring emotions related to inappropriate responsibility (pride, guilt, anger)
• Processing specific intervention/protection incidents
• Addressing grief about childhood losses due to the defender’s role
• Exploring identity beyond the defender/protector self-concept
• Supporting integration of experiences without shame or blame

PACE-Centered Parenting for Defender Children

• Supporting the mother in providing emotional leadership
• Guidance in responding to child’s controlling behaviours
• Developing parental confidence in protection capacity
• Addressing parental guilt about the child’s defender role
• Supporting attunement to underlying needs behind protective behaviours
• Practising appropriate limit-setting while maintaining connection

Addressing Specific Defender-Related Challenges

For Role Reversal/Parentification

• Gradual restructuring of family interactions
• Supporting the mother in reclaiming parental functions
• Creating safe opportunities for children to express dependency needs
• Addressing anxiety triggered by relinquishing the caretaking role
• Celebrating appropriate childhood behaviours and experiences

For Hypervigilance/Threat Monitoring

• Teaching discrimination between real and perceived threats
• Developing appropriate situation appraisal skills
• Transferring threat monitoring responsibility to adults
• Practicing relaxation of vigilance in safe contexts
• Creating body-based awareness of hyperarousal

For Identity Development Issues

• Exploration of self-concept beyond the protector role
• Discovering interests, preferences, and talents unrelated to caregiving
• Building capacity for playfulness and joy
• Developing age-appropriate mastery experiences
• Creating new self-narratives that incorporate but don’t center on the defender’s role

For Emotional Regulation Challenges

• Developing awareness of suppressed emotions (fear, sadness, anger)
• Building capacity to express vulnerability appropriately
• Learning to receive comfort rather than provide it
• Developing self-regulation skills appropriate to the developmental level
• Supporting the balance between emotional expression and regulation

For Peer Relationship Difficulties

• Developing age-appropriate social skills
• Reducing controlling or caregiving behaviors with peers
• Building capacity for reciprocal relationships
• Supporting engagement in regular play and social activities
• Addressing social anxiety related to peer interactions

Integration and Development Phase (6-8 sessions)

Supporting Developmental Catch-Up

• Identifying developmental domains affected by the defender role
• Creating opportunities for missed developmental experiences
• Supporting age-appropriate play and exploration
• Encouraging healthy risk-taking and autonomy
• Balancing structured support with growing independence

Building a Balanced Identity

• Integrating defender experiences into broader self-concept
• Acknowledging strengths developed through the defender role
• Expanding identity to include age-appropriate interests and activities
• Developing a balanced perspective on self-protection versus caretaking
• Supporting healthy pride while reducing excessive responsibility

Family Role Recalibration

• Solidifying appropriate parent-child boundaries
• Establishing new family patterns and interactions
• Supporting the mother in maintaining a protective capacity
• Developing family rituals that reinforce healthy roles
• Practicing family communication that respects boundaries

Future Growth Planning

• Anticipating developmental transitions
• Preparing for potential regression during stress
• Developing strategies for managing protective impulses
• Creating the framework for healthy helping versus inappropriate caretaking
• Building age-appropriate agency and empowerment

Special Considerations

If Violence Is Ongoing

• More emphasis on realistic safety planning
• A more precise delineation of what a child can and cannot control
• Greater focus on self-preservation versus intervention
• More structured support for managing daily threat
• Additional individual sessions for both mother and child

If Post-Separation

• Processing changes in defender role after separation
• Addressing continued protective behaviours despite the reduced threat
• Supporting adjustment to new family structure and roles
• Managing potential contact/visitation with the abusive parent
• Addressing loyalty conflicts that may intensify the defender’s stance

Based on the Child’s Age

For Younger Defenders (6-9 years)

• More play-based interventions
• Stronger emphasis on reclaiming childhood experiences
• More concrete explanations of family roles
• Greater focus on developmental catch-up
• More structured guidance for the mother

For Older Defenders (10-13 years)

• Balance of verbal and experiential interventions
• Focus on social development and peer relationships
• More complex narrative development
• Attention to emerging identity issues
• Support for healthy independence while reducing parentification

For Adolescent Defenders (14-18 years)

• The more collaborative approach to role transition
• Greater emphasis on identity development
• Focus on healthy relationships outside of family
• Preparation for adult relationships not based on caretaking
• Support for appropriate autonomy distinct from parentification

Progress Monitoring and Termination (4-5 sessions)

Ongoing Assessment

• Monitoring changes in defender behaviours and attitudes
• Assessment of role recalibration within the family
• Tracking of developmental progress
• Evaluation of peer relationship development
• Assessment of the mother’s capacity to maintain the protective role

Graduated Termination Process

• Preparation for reduced therapeutic support
• Review of progress in role adjustment
• Planning for the management of protective impulses
• Processing feelings about the therapeutic relationship ending
• Development of ongoing support resources

Follow-up Plan

• One-month post-treatment check-in
• Three-month follow-up session
• Six-month booster session as needed
• Available re-engagement during transitions or stress points
• Coordination with other community supports

Expected Outcomes

With the successful implementation of this DDP treatment plan, the following outcomes are anticipated:

• Reduction in inappropriate caregiving and protective behaviours
• Establishment of age-appropriate dependency and vulnerability
• Improved boundary clarity between parent and child roles
• Enhanced capacity for age-appropriate play and social engagement
• Reduced hypervigilance and anxiety
• Development of a more balanced, age-appropriate identity
• Improved peer relationships based on reciprocity rather than caregiving
• Enhanced emotional awareness and expression
• Improved developmental trajectory in previously neglected domains
• Strengthened appropriate attachment between mother and child

This treatment plan should be adapted to meet individual needs based on assessment findings and modified as treatment progresses to address evolving family circumstances. Clinicians should have a minimum of a master’s degree and the completion of the Advanced DDP course with a minimum of two years of experience using DDP with domestic violence.